Some people say that divorce will make them a better parent.
Divorce does not make a parent a better parent.
What actually makes a parent a better parent? Deciding to become a better parent and then taking action to be a better parent makes a parent a better parent.
The decision and the actions to become a better parent can be taken before or during or after a divorce.
Divorce is harmful to children. Period. Full stop.
No sound parent would hold the belief that divorce makes a parent a better parent.
Does giving half of your children’s college savings fund to divorce lawyers make you a better parent?
Does having your child shuttle between separate households – each less than what the whole would have been – make you a better parent?
Does having your child unable to interact freely with the other parent make you a better parent?
No way. No how.
But few people like to accept the facts of reality.
Studies have shown that 80 percent of people think they are in the top half.
And so it is that many self-serving divorce initiators think that they will have the 1 in 100 divorce that does not cause net harm to their children — that their divorce will be the one that is "better for the children".
That self-delusion is counter to reality and harmful for the children.
Get your divorce if you want it but don’t make false/fanciful claims about it.
You could have been a better parent in your marriage but were not — for your own reasons. If your arguments with your then-spouse made you a lesser parent, then you should not have had the arguments.
If you are argumentative, divorce done, you’ll be arguing again someday soon with someone … and maybe even your children.
You very likely won’t be any better of a parent after your divorce.
Studies show that the happiness that children provide parents is net positive in married households but not in separate single-parent households.
For affected children of a divorced household, the odds are against a divorced parent (e.g. preoccupied with chasing down new relationships or battling with a former spouse) being a better parent.
Reality talking.