admin – Page 3 – THE SUNLIGHT PROJECT

2013-02-152018-03-30

Expensive/wasteful nonsense that profits only the divorce lawyers and actually HARMS the children

In a divorce there is one protective parent who is the advocate for the children? Nonsense.

That “good parent v. evil parent” nonsense is probably one of the biggest loads of nonsense in divorce litigation.

Expensive/wasteful nonsense that profits only the divorce lawyers and actually HARMS the children (who have their parents litigating and their college/orthodontia fund transferred to the children of the divorce lawyers).

Divorce is not the time and divorce court is not the place for family social work.

Divorce courts should order equal placement and remove children from the clutches of the divorce industry.

You want the government to “protect” the children?

Protection of children by government is for your state’s child protective services agency.

Even if you are in a marriage or a divorce where you feel you must “protect” the children from the other parent, the divorce court should decline the issue and have you go to the child protective services agency.

Your complaint that the divorcing dad is five minutes late to get the children to a girl scouts meeting will be heard in that agency between the case where the parents had the child locked in the basement and the case where the mom was buying drugs with the child in the back seat.

2013-02-01

The solution to the financial support issue for children

The solution to the financial support issue for children in such a situation is simple:

Change the child support system to make it equal and free of gender bias.

If ONE parent is obligated to pay child support then by law BOTH parents should be obligated to pay child support.

Then there is equal protection of the law for the child — whose parents both must make a documented financial contribution into a state-held fund for the child.

The state child support agency collects payments from BOTH parents and then allows disbursement from the fund by each parent according to the needs/expenses of the child, the division of parenting time/custody and the income of the parents. Each parent has a debit card and a monthly maximum; at year end there is an audit to ensure that the funds have been used for the direct/indirect support of the child. Surplus fees are available for unexpected/variable expenses or will be disbursed to the child upon reaching adulthood.

Either parent or both parents would be considered deadbeats and subject to criminal prosecution of they don’t make their child support payments.

A father or a mother who is employable but chooses not to work would still have to make a monthly payment. No mother can use child support payments by the father to support herself.

Then we have an equal system that protects the child’s interests.

2012-11-032018-03-30

The Enemy

Divorce lawyers may want to make your divorcing spouse into the enemy — to create distrust and antagonize and create hostility.

Hostility and distrust is profitable for the divorce industry.

Who is the actual enemy to the well-being of you and your children?

2012-10-27

Mount Everest

How is Mount Everest relevant to divorce?

One of the first things that your divorce lawyer is likely to request of you (after you pay the initial retainer) is that you share your complete financial information — income, assets, debts, accounts, investments, personal property, etc.

The divorce lawyer is supposed to file a complete financial disclosure statement with the divorce court. Your divorce lawyer may not make the filing — mine did not (I did the filing myself about two years later after I was self-represented) — but in any event she or he will have enough information to be able to assess your financial condition.

And so your divorce lawyer will have your financial information and then will begin working your case and sending you bills for legal services.

But what does billing by your divorce lawyer have to do with Mount Everest?

Here you go …

Famed but ill-fated British mountaineer George Mallory was asked why he wanted to climb Mount Everest.

His answer: “Because it’s there.”

2012-10-27

Child Support Reform – Proposal

If the state is going to be involved in the administration of child support payments, administrate in a fair and balanced manner:

1. Child support payments go for the benefit of the child and not for the benefit of the parent. Child support payments should be in an amount that is fair and reasonable for the needs of the child.

2. The amount of child support payment obligations should not be part of any negotiation or negotiated settlement in a divorce case. The amount of income of the parent and the amount of parenting time may be agreed upon in a settlement; but not the amount of child support payments.

3. Both parents are required to make child support payments — divorced dad and divorced mom. The amount each parent is to pay should be based on income and on parenting time and in consideration of the actual/projected actual costs/expenses for the support of the children. (There may be cases where both parents are “deadbeats” — not just one parent.)

4. Child support payments should be taken from employment income as is a withholding tax. (No check-writing between the parties.)

5. Child support payments from each parent should be directly deposited into a trust account managed by the state that is in the name of the child/children with each parent as a custodian.

6. How much money each parent is entitled to withdraw from the trust account each month should be based on a review of the needs of the children and the budget. Debit cards could be used; when the maximum amount allowed for withdrawal has been reached by a parent, no more money can be withdrawn. If the parent is in arrears in making payments to the fund, no money can be withdrawn.

7. Any parent who makes a withdrawal of money from the account must provide documentation and an accounting of the use of the money. Costs/expenses should be categorized and evaluated. (Use of the debit card would help accounting. For example, at a store, the parent could check out in two stages, paying for her/his items with a personal card and paying for items for the children with the debit card.)

8. Each parent is sent a statement of account along with the monthly invoice to pay support; each parent has the opportunity to review the use of the money. Certain shared/variable expenses of the children should be paid directly by the fund and invoiced to the parents through the fund.

9. Child support obligations should be enforced against both parents where applicable, not only one parent.

10. Any money in the account when the child reaches the age of adulthood can be returned to the parents in proportion to the contribution and/or gifted to the child and used for college education, etc.

2012-10-27

Sunlight Project Logo

I have daughters. Twin daughters. Beautiful twin daughters, age 10.

Both are artistic. One likes to sing and dance. One is a bit more of a graphic artist.

I explained that I was starting a website called the “Sunlight Project” and I needed a logo.

I explained what a logo was.

The graphic artist told me that she would help. She asked me what the Sunlight Project was.

So I did.

First I explained that sunlight is considered a disinfectant. (Then I explained what a “disinfectant” was.)

Then I explained that sunlight can mean both actual rays of the sun and public awareness/attention.

I asked her to think about what happens (grows/lives) in dark, damp areas that never get the sun.

In one of their video games, where they each play a character and build and design a home for their character; if they don’t play the game for a long period of time, when they return to their home and turn on the light, they have to spend a little time chasing a bunch of certain large and unattractive insect out of their home.

She got the concept.

I asked her to think about why people who plan or do bad things don’t want other people to know — and why they sometimes plan or do bad things in secret … in the dark, so to speak.

She got that concept also.

I asked her to think about what happens in a garden (for example) that gets enough sun. How when we plant our sunflowers in the right spot, they grow taller than the first floor of the house.

We talked about how sunlight in proper dose can be very healthy. We talked about how people tend to behave better when the realize that others will see or know how they behave.

The places where there is no sunlight (or “sunlight”) are the places where “interesting” things grow/live — and typically not interesting in a good way. Interesting as in no fun to encounter/experience. … as in divorce for most people.

I explained that the purpose of the Sunlight Project was to get sunlight — public awareness — on issues that will help children and others who are experiencing a divorce. How I want divorce to be more healthy than it is now. That if sunlight was able to “touch” the issues — if the issues weren’t kept in the dark but instead got some public awareness — the world would be a better place for those children and households.

I don’t think she understood all of that.

But she designed the logo. A window with rays of the sun reaching through to “touch” ….

It is wonderful. She is wonderful. So is her sister.

My daughters are wonderful.

I’m proud to be their dad.

I’m glad that I’m a dad with equal parenting time. (We’ll maybe get into what that cost personally and financially at another time, in another set of posts. Maybe not maybe.)

Hope that those of you who visit this site get something positive and of value that makes your life and your children’s lives better.

That is the purpose of the Sunlight Project.

I hope that the quality of my posts matches the quality of the logo.

2012-10-27

Divorce For This Century – Proposal

Here is a proposal for divorce reform:

Structure divorce as an administrative process run like an ongoing mediation:

1. An administrator/mediator trained in conflict resolution manages the case/process. The administrator doesn’t have to be a lawyer or administrative law judge. Divorce lawyers are not permitted to appear in the administrative proceedings. Parties may retain a divorce lawyer at their own request but the divorce lawyer will not participate directly in the proceedings.

2. The parties are required to exchange standard information disclosures (e.g., asset statements from dates of marriage and divorce filing) and proposals for settlement (e.g. for division of existing assets). The administrator may request additional information and may appoint an accountant to review financial records of the parties. At the start of the case, each party will be ordered to set up their own individual account.

3. If there are dependent children, the parents are required to submit a joint parenting plan. If the parents cannot agree on a joint parenting plan, the administrator will address that issue first; but if the parents cannot reach an agreement, the initial order is that the parents will share equal parenting time during the proceeding and for two years after the divorce is final. Persons who were formerly employed as custody evaluators will be retrained and will instead serve as joint parenting facilitators tasked to help the divorcing parents reorganize there respective lives and households; joint parenting facilitators will remain assigned to the case and available to the parties/parents until the children reach the age of adulthood.

4. Parties are able to make all submissions made using standard fill-in forms (simple and understandable). Parties can revise their submissions during the initial months of the process.

5. Starting presumptions: (a) equal shared custody/placement of children is best for the children and that each parent is entitled to equal parenting time; (b) equal division of property obtained during marriage is equitable; (c) the return of divisible/documented pre-marital property to each spouse is equitable; (d) no alimony/maintenance is required to either party. Evidence/proof is required to overcome presumptions.

6. The administrator initially sets up a case resolution plan. The administrator then meets/mediates with parties monthly until case is fully resolved.

7. If parties do not resolve all issues by mediation within 18 meetings/months, the administrator will decide any unresolved issues. The parties can seek review/determination of the issues by an appeals panel.

8. Child support payment obligations are not part of the negotiation. The parents are each required to submit a proposed budget for their respective households. The parents are required to attempt to prepare a joint budget for child support expenses that are to be shared, such as for activities, special medical care, orthodontia, college savings. Both parents are required to pay child support into a fund based on their income and their parenting time and the budget. Each parent is entitled to withdraw a specified amount from the fund each month; if the parents share equal parenting time, each parent is presumptively entitled to withdraw the same amount from the fund. Parents are required to submit an annual statement providing a report/accounting of the use of amounts withdrawn from the fund and on actual child support costs/expenses.

9. The administrator has authority to “ticket” (impose fines/sanctions for) false/misleading statements and omissions and/or to refer a party for criminal prosecution for making false statements.

10. If a credible allegation of abuse is made, the administrator will keep proper distance between the parties. A special team of administrators will be trained for so-called high-conflict cases. The first goal will be to reduce conflict by removing any incentive for the conflict.

11. Issues relating to “quality of parenting” are not addressed in the proceeding. If one party/parent has objections to the parenting of the other party/parent, the objections are to be presented to an appropriate/different agency in a separate proceedings — to the child protective services agency.

12. Judicial review in the trial court is available for issues determined by the administrative appeals panel (with due deference to the administrator/panel). The initial determination of the court will be whether both parties participated in the administrative process in good faith; if the court determines that there was not good faith, the parties will be ordered back to the administrative process for up to one year under court supervision (monthly reports from the administrator).

2012-10-26

Where’s My Divorce?

The papers were filed. I paid the money (did I ever). I went to court a few times. The final papers were all signed (though they ended up having some sleaze on them).

The judge said I was divorced.

But I didn’t get my divorce.

Where’s my divorce?

There’s the rub, the reality. If you have children (as I do) you don’t get a divorce.

You get an __-year nightmare (fill in the blank with 18/19 minus your youngest child’s age) of having to deal with a person (your ex-spouse) that you would not want to deal with ever again.

If you love your children and are devoted to them (as I do and am), you may find that the person you have to deal with will mercilessly take advantage of the situation. You’ll be engaged in ongoing contact much of which is nonsensical.

I paid the money. I signed the papers. I want my divorce!

Where’s my divorce?

2012-10-25

Why The Sunlight Project?

“Sunlight is said to be the best of disenfectants.”

– Justice Louis D. Brandeis in a 1913 Harper’s Weekly article titled “What Publicity Can Do” (credit to www.sunlightfoundation.org).